Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Tao Lin vs. Miss Piggy

Does anyone see any similarities between Eeeee eee eeee and The Muppet Show?

Hugh Laurie loves me for one moment

I am trapped inside someone else's nightmare with Hugh Laurie, star of Fox television series House, M.D.

We are in a white room with four walls and multiple tiny doors and we would like to leave. But behind every tiny door is a dead body--someone that the nightmare's owner loved. The same dead body appears behind every tiny door.

When we perceive that the floor will soon turn to water and we'll drown, Hugh looks at me with his Mediterranean blue eyes and says, "I have been preparing for this, and if I need to, I'll sacrifice myself for you." And I say things like, "No, don't say that!" but his emotions escalate to fever pitch and he is on the verge of asking for my hand in marriage when a hot air balloon made entirely of marijuana comes and rescues us and we float into the night.

By the time we land safely on the ground Hugh is back to his old bristly self. We will not get married.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

SE: I will probably obsess about my dreams a lot.

I taught roller-skating at a community center in a bad neighborhood, but all of my students were middle-aged white women who objected to learning.

They were either unwilling or afraid to put on the skates, so we dry-skated up and down a handicapped ramp in our socks, and I gave out the book I authored, "Skate or Die."

Afterwards, I stood by the elevator and listened as everyone complained in small groups as they walked out.

Possible sources: Age of Love (that roller-skating outing with the cougars), my discussion with Kathy on Friday about whether or not she should use the word "learn" in her article.

Possible meanings: I should write a book that will make middle-aged women hate me.