Monday, August 16, 2010

hate week

i am filled with hate and depression today. coffee hasn't transformed me. you know what would help? if you guys were all in my apartment when i got home. with a million cigarettes. but that scenario belongs to another universe, so instead, let's have hate week! this is where we all talk about things we hate, and in doing so, we experience solidarity. and friendship. i'll start:

i hate when i have a load of work to do and my office mates are having a champagne/pizza party and blasting madonna music and stomping around in the loudest high heels in the world.

i also hate it when hipsters talk about "obese people" on their blog, like they're making some kind of progressive observation by saying they saw an obese person. hey hipster, you're just being an ass hat.

i also hate it when men in bars call you sweetheart and grope you. next time that happens someone's head's gonna get knocked off.

now, you go!

6 comments:

John Heckman Wright said...

I hate when you're in therapy and all the complaints you have about other people get labeled as "projection." I also hate it when you tell said therapist to go fuck his/her self for mislabeling you, leading said therapist to label you "hostile" and "unable to process your emotions."

I also hate it when men work out with erections at the gym. It makes the rest of us feel uncomfortable and I want to walk up to every woman in the gym and apologize to them for the man having an erection, but if I were to point out such a thing I would be called a pervert.

I also hate it when you're expected to talk to neighbors simply because you live in the same building, and if I were to say something like "So, did you see that hooker douche in our parking lot last night?" I would be seen as hostile, pessimistic, and un-neighborly. I hate that.

Alicia Pernell said...

I hate my neighbor's pine tree, shedding pine needles all over my patio.

Kathryn said...

yeah, take that therapists, gym men, neighbors and pine trees!

Megan said...

I hate my neighbor. I run inside when he comes out. He has fake plastic banana leaves stabbed in the ground in his yard and is always slyly bragging about his organic garden and subtly insulting my cat and telling me how my cat will get fleas if I keep letting him outside. Also: I'm pretty sure he's stealing my tomatoes because he doesn't have any.

Megan said...

I hate baby showers. I'm sorry if you're reading this and I've been to yours. I love you, but I hate baby showers. HATE.

Special Agent Dale Cooper said...

oh i love hate week. i'm making a whole post later this afternoon.