Doug

Did you ever think that maybe Jesus made snow all white and reflective so winter wouldn't be too depressing? Me neither.

Something I think about when I'm depressed this winter (not being the owner of a fancy lightbox like other Literati) is Doug.

Doug plays Mel's husband on Flight of the Conchords. Mostly he is silent and sits in cars waiting for Mel, the Conchords' superfan. Abby and I recently watched the first two seasons of Damages, where the actor who plays Doug is also a character...who spends a lot of time silently sitting in cars waiting for and watching people, albeit in a much more sinister way.

I like to imagine that Damages and Flight of the Conchords takes place in the same universe, and that after Doug spends his day watching Ellen Parsons walk around the city, he goes and waits for Mel outside a bar where the Conchords are playing. Occasionally during the day he'll kill somebody or plant some drugs somewhere or threaten to ruin someone's life, but he's always got Mel to pick up. One eye on Mel and Jemaine, one eye on Ellen and Katie. Poor Doug with his double life.

For some reason this makes me really happy to think about.

New diet craze

While watching Nova over the break I was overcome by a marveous entrepreneurial brainstorm. We all remember Kathy's diet craze: "No Meat, No Maize: The Incan Child Sacrifice Diet," yes? Well, check this out: "The Antarctica Diet: Eat 3000 Calories a Day and Lose Weight--Just by Maintaining Your Core Body Temperature!"

We open a spa on Antarctica. A couple of tents, a fire pit, and a ton of wool socks. Scientists eat up to 6000 calories a day there, just to maintain their weight. If we can fool a bunch of people with disposable income into coming to Antarctica for 10 days, we can feed them nothing but cupcakes and beer, and they'll still lose weight and feel like they're indulging.

Who's with me?