"BUY MY TOILET ON E-BAY, $9274842222222222222222222222223.24" by prathna lor

i don't like thinking about the amount of water being wasted every time i flush the toilet after i urinate. sometimes i feel like i have to urinate a lot but then only four drops of urine drop from the head of my penis. i look at my white urine slightly tint the toilet water. i feel empathy for many things, everywhere. i know someone will notice that someone else has urinated in this toilet and they will flush it if i don't flush it. sometimes i sit on the toilet for a few hours until i have to take a shit so i don't feel so bad when i flush the toilet. sometimes i stand in the shower and piss into the drain so i can avoid the toilet altogether. i don't think about where the water goes. i hold a toothbrush in my right hand and make clanging noises on the tiled wall so people don't hear me pissing into the shower drain. then i make other noises. i bang my fist on the faucet. i scrunch up a shower cap. i pretend to be frustrated with the floss dispenser. i imitate the silence of looking at your teeth, or squeezing a pimple on your eyelid. then i lie on the floor and stick my nose into the space under the door and watch for shadows.

sometimes after i flush the toilet i can hear the water run through the pipes very loudly. the vibrations destroy my house. i think about zip-locking my shit and urinating into plants, or the carpet. i think about how much my toilet would go for on e-bay.