Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Oversmoking

One way to quit smoking is to oversmoke, like chain smoke until your pallor turns minty green, and then you'll be disgusted with yourself and feel sick and not want to smoke at all for a couple of days, during which the nicotine can leave your system, and then, voila, step one is completed and you're practically free of that pesky addiction.

Last night I watched the two trashiest shows on VH1: Real Chance at Love 2 and Megan Wants a Millionaire.

The whole time I vacillated between shame and elation, and I got up and did things during the commercials to avoid spiraling into watching that one show where five women in lingerie rate themselves according to who has the hottest face, legs, butt, etc., and then three dudes rate them, too, and they win money if their rankings are the same as the dudes' rankings. You can actually see self-esteem deflating on that show.

And then I felt depressed because all of the "suitors" on Megan's show were verified millionaires, and apparently you can be both socially inept and kinda stupid and still make at least a million dollars. Because of luck? Or perhaps a high tolerance for risk often is associated with dumbness? Whatevs. It's slim pickings for poor Megan.

I am overwatching, so I can be free of the tyranny of trash television, which apparently I am powerless to resist, except I think this plan has already backfired because I'm kind of worried about Real and Chance and their bevy of strippers with real estate licenses. Will they find love? How will I ever know if I don't watch?

Tonight, nothing. I swear.

5 comments:

Megan said...

I was noticing this millionaire phenomenon today, while walking around and discovering that lots of people who look like they have negative bank accounts appear to own gigantic, nice houses. I guess that's what happens when the only things you've ever wanted are a house and babies - you just work toward that for your entire life and then poof you're a millionaire

Special Agent Dale Cooper said...

Stupid millionaires without dreams.

A Twilight Shadow said...

Trash television makes me feel like I'm a fascist from Salo. "MANGE! MANGE!"

Well, everything makes me feel like that.

Kathryn said...

at first i though she (or he?) meant salo the staffing company and i felt confused. i still feel confused, really. google search didn't help.

Special Agent Dale Cooper said...

it's the 120 days of sodom. not to be confused with the staffing company. at all.