Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Sex Toy Hostesses Are Surrealists


Clearly I can't escape these things: you know how much I hated that effin' jewelry party? Well, one of Garrison's friends from the climbing gym invited me to a sex toy party. What a way to get to know people. But the party was actually not at all uncomfortable. The hostess lady just handed around a bunch of sparkly liquidy things to try on that were basically all the same lotion that tasted like cotton candy or Smarties. She also handed around this amazing pheromone spray that made your pheromones show off their own unique scent. Mine smelled like burning wood and tabasco, which was hilarious.


The best part was that we played Surrealist games. One went like this: think of the chore you hate most around the house. Think of exactly how you'd describe it. ("I hate ______ because _____.") Now substitute the word sex for the first blank. This is totally the surrealist game where they'd pull the labels off of household products and replace the brand names with "Love" or "God" and then read the descriptions on the packaging as if the products were Love or God!


The other game we played was the exquisite corpse except better. You answer questions and fold over the paper for each one and pass them around. If you could go one place in the world where would it be? Which boy would you take with you? What's the first thing you'd do to him once you arrived? What would he say afterwards? What would you say?


Venice. Anthony Bourdain. Eat seafood off him. I'm hungry. A-ha. I liked mine how it would have been originally if I'd kept my own paper. But those answers got distributed and the girl who read mine didn't know who Anthony Bourdain was, which was disappointing.


What is the connection between sex toy hostesses and surrealism? I feel like I should become a sex toy hostess now.

4 comments:

Special Agent Dale Cooper said...

maybe the very thought of having a sex toy party just opens up your brain to new ideas, sort of like automatic writing.

i've been at work since 6:00 a.m.

Megan said...

ew - hope you're working on your book and not on work-work...oh wait, the semester started...you're buried in screaming freshmen! that's about to be me in 3 hours.

Kathryn said...

freud.

Mariana Soffer said...

What you should do is those kind of tupperware reunions at your home, where you invite your friends and your friends their own friends and you show them and sell them, and if you want you show them how to use, those surrealist toys. Which I agree with you they are completely surreal, maybe also dada.