why am i not in france right now

i am crazy ass sick. well, i was. now i am just normal sick. but, like, on saturday i was so illin' that i had to hold on to the walls to get from the bathroom to my bed. what the?

i have mostly been unconscious since then, but i woke up this afternoon and now that i'm only normal sick i am able to do things like watch television. so i watched sicko. not because i'm sick. that is just coincidence.

anyway, the point is i learned that on top of having cuter haircuts and better music, and being more adorable and sassier, france also has awesomer health care. and nannies that come to your house for free after you have a baby. and a minimum of five weeks paid vacation. and doctors that make house calls. that would have come in handy earlier today when i was crawling to jewel in the rain for some nyquil.