Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Dexter, or now I only write about TV

You guys, I hate Dexter. I know I am supposed to like it. It is about a semi-likeable serial killer. That is right up my alley. But I hate Dexter, seethingly. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

Here are some things I hate: I hate the flashbacks to his dad teaching him how to use his serial killer compulsions for good. I hate his stupid skinny sister. She is stupid. She should not be in homicide because she is too stupid to be in homicide. Keep her in vice, Chief Whateveryournameis. Oh wait too late because Dexter is using his serial killer skills for good again, to track down other serial killers and selflessly helping his sister get promoted simultaneously. And now Dexter is eating. In every single scene. A banana or a cheeseburger or a crab leg. He is eating with his stupid gross mouth with the hair around it that doesn't match his head hair. Hate. Oh, and I hate how he magically knows if someone is a bad person who deserves to die by, like, recognizing the bad part of himself in him. And! And! I hate the stupid unnecessary voiceovers. "I can't feel, but I pretend to" (not a real quote). You have already said that in a voiceover 80 billion times, Dexter! I hate you! I hate how slowly it moves. I hate everything about it.

And here is the other thing I hate: the promise that it will get better. Oh, the second season is better. You just have to get through the first season. No. I won't. I hate Dexter. And plus also too someone told me that he starts actually seeing his dead dad not in flashbacks but in real life in the future. HATE.


A Twilight Shadow said...

All of this is true. I don't know how I made it through three seasons of it, but I decided that I needed to stop torturing myself and now I refuse to watch it any longer.

It gets better for a millisecond, then goes to being dumber than before. Primarily when he has a kid and suddenly wants to protect the child from his evil path.

Also, I dislike that his need to kill has one specific root. I don't like it when serial killers have roots. That's not scary, and it doesn't make sense, given the sheer plethora of people that move on in their lives normally after witnessing tragedy...and of serial killers that have no "reason" to have turned out the way they did.

"But...but I saw my mother get hacked to death with a chainsaw!"

"Are you going to cry about it, Dexter? Oh wait, you can't, because apparently you have no feelings. If you have no feelings, stop trying so hard to get me to understand you. Twat."

Anonymous said...

hahaha. yeah, i'm so glad this post isn't going to hurt dexter's no-feelings.

your comment re-affirms me in my refusal to watch it. everytime i talk about it with anyone, though, it's like i said i hate babies.