Objects, absence, authors

Objects

My phone stopped working, and I have a loaner for the next five days. It is oh-so-very early 90s: bulky, square alarm-clock-numbers in the display. It is an exact replica of the phone owned by the individual who previously held my position at work.

My hand on it looks like hers. I remember things now, like how she ate hot cereal in the morning and took time when she needed it. Is she my Nancy? Maybe not: I remember her eating raisins with gusto, when, clearly, they are repulsive.

Absence

One of the things Kathy and I will be doing in the next few days is attending a workshop at which I will learn how to position things under headlines. No further comment.

Authors

We need to write to Don DeLillo and Miranda July. I want to start:

Dear Don DeLillo,

Does the very thought of having a society devoted to studying your work cause a pleasurable sensation in your special place?

Dear Miranda July,

Have you ever slept with any movie stars? Which ones? Details, please.

Technically, we should be writing to Stacey Levine this week, but because we're going to interview her, I think we should discuss the questions on Saturday. And plus also too, she gets the two questions Wayne could not answer.

Stacey Levine week continues

As suggested by celebrity guest Tao Lin, Stacey Levine's book Frances Johnson will be our next book club selection. We still wish someone would publish her new, new book, The Kidney Problem: Tales and Stories. I've started a promotional page for it on my microwave.

Literature to make out with...

Making out with Jane Bowles reminded me there is a whole genre of literature with which one might like to make out. Unfortunately, much of this writing is hard to find because people are too busy making out with books whose authors are naturally talented at self-promotion. We would like to get our greasy fingerprints all over Stacey Levine’s new book, but someone needs to publish it first. Please, someone, publish Stacey Levine’s new book! Put the title in a nice sans-serif font. We will promote her with quirky You-Tube videos and websites drawn on refrigerators in dry erase marker. Publish, and publish soon, because October is our most creative month.