Monday, September 24, 2007

Objects, absence, authors


My phone stopped working, and I have a loaner for the next five days. It is oh-so-very early 90s: bulky, square alarm-clock-numbers in the display. It is an exact replica of the phone owned by the individual who previously held my position at work.

My hand on it looks like hers. I remember things now, like how she ate hot cereal in the morning and took time when she needed it. Is she my Nancy? Maybe not: I remember her eating raisins with gusto, when, clearly, they are repulsive.


One of the things Kathy and I will be doing in the next few days is attending a workshop at which I will learn how to position things under headlines. No further comment.


We need to write to Don DeLillo and Miranda July. I want to start:

Dear Don DeLillo,

Does the very thought of having a society devoted to studying your work cause a pleasurable sensation in your special place?

Dear Miranda July,

Have you ever slept with any movie stars? Which ones? Details, please.

Technically, we should be writing to Stacey Levine this week, but because we're going to interview her, I think we should discuss the questions on Saturday. And plus also too, she gets the two questions Wayne could not answer.


Megan said...

For Don: Do you want to feel safe in the world, or do you prefer adultery? We think you prefer adultery.

We would also like to invite you to our imaginary public access TV show on Chicago's CAN-TV. You will work in the green room, as "beer bitch" for Tao Lin and Wayne Koestenbaum. You can come on stage during the taping, but you must pose as a table the other guests can put their feet on.

For Miranda: Do you want to feel safe in the world like Don DeLillo's wife does, or do you prefer adultery like he does? We think you prefer adultery.

Anonymous said...

Megan is very funny. I like Megan.

Meghan said...

I want to ask Miranda July how she got that strange accent. It’s taken me years to cultivate a strange accent, and I don’t think it sounds like Miranda July at all.

Megan said...

my computer at work sucks. i can't listen to the strange accent. but i think miranda july sounds like a snake. am i right?

Kathy said...

i am almost positive that miranda july has slept with benicio del toro. we have to get details from her about that.

benicio del toro looks like a werewolf lately. he is so good.

Anonymous said...

I thought she sounded like a duck. I wonder if Benicio del Toro is a sensitive lover (as his pillowy lips suggest) or if he only cares for his own pleasure (as his hair indicates).