Me: Sitting in a breakfast hotspot, cheerfully observing this table filled with old ladies who all had the same spun sugar hair, and I was all like, "aw, ain't they cute." They had these complicated canes with handpainted designs on them, and I couldn't figure out whether they were sisters or lovers or just VL in the future. One of them smiled at me, and I smiled back. That is how cheerful I was. One of them dropped her cane, and I thought about picking it up for her, but then I thought that maybe that was insulting, so I didn't.
And then they all laughed these dry, smoker cough-laughs, and I saw an arthritic claw pointing at me. "She looks so tacky!" the one wearing the most jewelry rasped in this I'm-trying-to-talk-quietly-but-my-friends-are-mostly-deaf voice.
They totally made fun of me. Old ladies.