Wednesday, July 23, 2008

today in correspondence


i am very confused about what is happening with christian bale. sarah has been helping me with it. we also talked about samedi the deafness for a second.

me to sarah:

i am excited for you to come here this weekend. i will be fully recovered by then. i will have interesting things to say.

dude what is going on with christian bale

k+

sarah to me:

I am excited for me to come, too. I am worried, though, because it is supposed to be thunderstorming from here to Chicago on Friday. I am an excellent driver.

Christian Bale got pissed off at his mom who forced him into show business at a young and impressionable age. That is my theory. Also, now that he's a badass, it's leaking into his personal life. Also, there might be a Batman curse.

Love,
Sarah

me to sarah:

i didn't know that grieve really had a twin. my problem as a reader is that i don't really pay attention to plot. i am not following this book at all. i have to start over.

at first I heard that christian bale physically assaulted his mother and sister. then i heard that he just shoved his sister. now apparently he only verbally assaulted his mother. soon it will turn out that it wasn't his mother, it was a maid, and it wasn't christian bale, it was donald trump, and it wasn't a verbal assault, he just likes shouting "you're fired!"

christian bale can push me if he wants.

what what,
k+

sarah to me:

The funny thing is that I'm not sure the plot matters, except as a vehicle for The Ball's views. Which is okay, I guess.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Christian Bale stabbed his pregnant wife. He can stab me if he wants.

xo,
Tee Minus

4 comments:

Sarah said...

we are so hilarious.

christian bale is going to pass out from laughing when he reads this. i can't wait!

G. F said...

K+ will be fully recovered because she's not really sick, I think its all bologna, playin' hookey I tell ya!


the boyfriend

Megan said...

Actually yes, Christian stabbed me in the bajinga. I am his pregnant wife; we both hate kids; it had to be done. Didn't yalls know? Also, as recompense, Christian has volunteered to fund VL Books. Headquarters will be in a tiny pink mansion atop the "H" in HOLLYWOOD. Yes, we will have to shrink.

Patrick Roberts said...

Bale seems too composed and in-control of himself to ever physically go after anyone... sounds like somebody's out to get some extra coin