Wednesday, July 23, 2008

today in correspondence

i am very confused about what is happening with christian bale. sarah has been helping me with it. we also talked about samedi the deafness for a second.

me to sarah:

i am excited for you to come here this weekend. i will be fully recovered by then. i will have interesting things to say.

dude what is going on with christian bale


sarah to me:

I am excited for me to come, too. I am worried, though, because it is supposed to be thunderstorming from here to Chicago on Friday. I am an excellent driver.

Christian Bale got pissed off at his mom who forced him into show business at a young and impressionable age. That is my theory. Also, now that he's a badass, it's leaking into his personal life. Also, there might be a Batman curse.


me to sarah:

i didn't know that grieve really had a twin. my problem as a reader is that i don't really pay attention to plot. i am not following this book at all. i have to start over.

at first I heard that christian bale physically assaulted his mother and sister. then i heard that he just shoved his sister. now apparently he only verbally assaulted his mother. soon it will turn out that it wasn't his mother, it was a maid, and it wasn't christian bale, it was donald trump, and it wasn't a verbal assault, he just likes shouting "you're fired!"

christian bale can push me if he wants.

what what,

sarah to me:

The funny thing is that I'm not sure the plot matters, except as a vehicle for The Ball's views. Which is okay, I guess.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Christian Bale stabbed his pregnant wife. He can stab me if he wants.

Tee Minus


Sarah said...

we are so hilarious.

christian bale is going to pass out from laughing when he reads this. i can't wait!

G. F said...

K+ will be fully recovered because she's not really sick, I think its all bologna, playin' hookey I tell ya!

the boyfriend

Megan said...

Actually yes, Christian stabbed me in the bajinga. I am his pregnant wife; we both hate kids; it had to be done. Didn't yalls know? Also, as recompense, Christian has volunteered to fund VL Books. Headquarters will be in a tiny pink mansion atop the "H" in HOLLYWOOD. Yes, we will have to shrink.

Patrick Roberts said...

Bale seems too composed and in-control of himself to ever physically go after anyone... sounds like somebody's out to get some extra coin