I am my own celebrity crush!
Did I mention that these photos have NOT been retouched?!!? GOD! Look at those teeth.
My hair is as soft as a duckling-butt and my nose as cute as a kitten's nipple! My chin is as smooth as the knee of a Great Dane taking its first breath after emerging from its mother's womb. My brows are fuzzy but neat like the belly of a chimp. I smell like....are there any animals that smell good....umm...a chihua- no. I smell like the flower-scented beak of a hummingbird collecting its sweet, sweet nectar. My bosom is supple and firm like the shoulder of a champion race horse. They call it animal magnetism...you need it to be a celebrity.