chatty kathy: 'going out' clothes

hey. i am starting a new column called chatty kathy.
it will consist of gmail chats.
here is the first one. it is with matthew savoca:

me: do you have 'going out' clothes?
i am making fun of my co-workers for having them.
i mean, i really don't 'go out'
but if i did, i would not change into a sparkly cleavage shirt and boots
that is weird.
matthew: the plumber is almost done
i do not have going out clothes
you are totally right
me: ha.
matthew: going out clothes are gay. unless you are gay. then going out clothes are totally straight.
but in an uncool way
i have going out shoes
what this means is
i look outside
and if the ground is wet
i have to wear special shoes
otherwise, i wear my super comfortable shoes with the holes in them
me: haha
that is a different kind of 'going out'
let me ask you something.
matthew: true
me: do you 'go out'?
matthew: no
me: did you ever 'go out'?
matthew: never
no
me: interesting.
have you ever shelacked your hair for the purposes of attracting women?
matthew: no
me: how do you spell shelack
matthew: shalack i think
i have never once attracted a woman
brb
me: hahaha
i just read what you wrote about your shoes
and my co-worker said, "is he talking about crocs?"
it's shellac
matthew: haha
crocs
no
not crocs
me: what kind of shoes are they? please describe them. the ones with the holes in them i mean.
matthew: yeah shellac. that's what i said
my shoes with the holes in them are pumas
they are small and sleek and make your feet look streamlined and uber cool
they used to be navy blue with a white puma
now they are like grey
with a dirty brown puma
me: no you said shalack
matthew: i know i did