hey. i am starting a new column called chatty kathy.
it will consist of gmail chats.
here is the first one. it is with matthew savoca:
me: do you have 'going out' clothes?
i am making fun of my co-workers for having them.
i mean, i really don't 'go out'
but if i did, i would not change into a sparkly cleavage shirt and boots
that is weird.
matthew: the plumber is almost done
i do not have going out clothes
you are totally right
matthew: going out clothes are gay. unless you are gay. then going out clothes are totally straight.
but in an uncool way
i have going out shoes
what this means is
i look outside
and if the ground is wet
i have to wear special shoes
otherwise, i wear my super comfortable shoes with the holes in them
that is a different kind of 'going out'
let me ask you something.
me: do you 'go out'?
me: did you ever 'go out'?
have you ever shelacked your hair for the purposes of attracting women?
me: how do you spell shelack
matthew: shalack i think
i have never once attracted a woman
i just read what you wrote about your shoes
and my co-worker said, "is he talking about crocs?"
me: what kind of shoes are they? please describe them. the ones with the holes in them i mean.
matthew: yeah shellac. that's what i said
my shoes with the holes in them are pumas
they are small and sleek and make your feet look streamlined and uber cool
they used to be navy blue with a white puma
now they are like grey
with a dirty brown puma
me: no you said shalack
matthew: i know i did