Tuesday, March 18, 2008

gchat topic: i'll be me and you be everyone else in the world

i have been thinking about how i confuse myself with other people. partly because of matthew savoca's awesome book that he is writing, partly because of the "postmodern poetic of decentralized voice" that people in grad school love to yammer about, and partly because i am confused mentally. but if you experience everything with your mind, then everything kind of is actually you. you know? i talked about a related topic today with neil kubath over gchat.

i think i might write a story about a girl who lives with a boyfriend and a child and a dog and a cat and they are all the same person. or else maybe this gchat is good enough. i never write anyway.

me: are you having a pang?
Neil: I am.
me: where is it
Neil: my tummy.
me: i would rub your stomach for you if you were my dog. or my boyfriend.
or my child.
or my cat.
Neil: Wow.
me: is this a case where i am being too blatant and that's why you said wow?
Neil: Yes.
me: oh
you have a problem with being my dog or my boyfriend or my child or my cat? i don't see why.
you freak out easily.
Neil: I don't.
I just like making you think I do.
me: oh
me: i wish you were my cat
i saw you typing and erasing!
Neil: Nope.
Well, yes on the cat.
me: you wish you were my cat?
Neil: Yes I have a problem.
me: that's not a problem. being my cat would be nice.
Neil: I don't like cats.
me: for real?
Neil: Not that much.
Not enough to be one.
me: well why did you say you want to be my cat then?
Neil: I didn't.
You asked if I was freaked out.
I said yes to the cat.
me: oh, so you don't have a problem being my dog or my boyfriend or my child?
Neil: Correct on all accounts.
me: i wish you were all three. i would have such an interesting life.
Neil: I'd be awesome.
I'd also be Oedipus.
me: it would be so cozy at home. everyone would play chess all day. including the dog.
Neil: You mean me?
me: yes, you. you are everyone. including the dog.
except i am me in this scenario.
me: do you not play chess? because that would make this whole thing impossible.
Neil: I play chess.
Not very well.
me: effin.
Neil: I will get better.
me: yay!
i was going to change it to jeopardy tournaments, but it makes me happy that you'll get better at chess.
Neil: Ugh.
me: what?
Neil: I missed out on nonstop Jeopardy tournaments.
me: it's nearly impossible for a dog to play jeopardy, neil.
Neil: Not really.
me: how would he communicate the answers?
Neil: He'd bark...duh.
me: oh
right.
Neil: Yeah.

6 comments:

Sarah said...

I still think you should write the story.

I wish Neil were our teacup piglet at work. He could live in Jefe's cubby, and we'd take him out and tweak his curly tail when we were sad.

TheNeez said...

I wish Megan would apologize for misspelling my name.

Also, my dog is snoring.

prathna lor said...

i sent you an email

Megan said...

I apologize, Neil. Is that right? Because honestly I still don't know how to spell your name.

Your chat can be a play. I would like to play the role of "Neal," who is the same person as "Neil," only a little different, like in the "Borges and I" story.

If Neil refuses to play the cat since he doesn't like them that much, I would play the cat, the imaginary cat. I would like to be in the background rolling around and yeowling and being distracting.

Meghan said...

Can I be a cat too? I'm a really good annoying actor. I once starred as the background frog in the sixth grade marionette production of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (I was also Leonardo, with the blue headband, and the director. But I think the frog was really the star). No one ever spells my name right.

TheNeez said...

All is forgiven, Megan. And Meghan, Leonardo was the leader, so it's probably good that you were also director. He and Donatello were my favorites.