i have been thinking about how i confuse myself with other people. partly because of matthew savoca's awesome book that he is writing, partly because of the "postmodern poetic of decentralized voice" that people in grad school love to yammer about, and partly because i am confused mentally. but if you experience everything with your mind, then everything kind of is actually you. you know? i talked about a related topic today with neil kubath over gchat.
i think i might write a story about a girl who lives with a boyfriend and a child and a dog and a cat and they are all the same person. or else maybe this gchat is good enough. i never write anyway.
me: are you having a pang?
Neil: I am.
me: where is it
Neil: my tummy.
me: i would rub your stomach for you if you were my dog. or my boyfriend.
or my child.
or my cat.
me: is this a case where i am being too blatant and that's why you said wow?
you have a problem with being my dog or my boyfriend or my child or my cat? i don't see why.
you freak out easily.
Neil: I don't.
I just like making you think I do.
me: i wish you were my cat
i saw you typing and erasing!
Well, yes on the cat.
me: you wish you were my cat?
Neil: Yes I have a problem.
me: that's not a problem. being my cat would be nice.
Neil: I don't like cats.
me: for real?
Neil: Not that much.
Not enough to be one.
me: well why did you say you want to be my cat then?
Neil: I didn't.
You asked if I was freaked out.
I said yes to the cat.
me: oh, so you don't have a problem being my dog or my boyfriend or my child?
Neil: Correct on all accounts.
me: i wish you were all three. i would have such an interesting life.
Neil: I'd be awesome.
I'd also be Oedipus.
me: it would be so cozy at home. everyone would play chess all day. including the dog.
Neil: You mean me?
me: yes, you. you are everyone. including the dog.
except i am me in this scenario.
me: do you not play chess? because that would make this whole thing impossible.
Neil: I play chess.
Not very well.
Neil: I will get better.
i was going to change it to jeopardy tournaments, but it makes me happy that you'll get better at chess.
Neil: I missed out on nonstop Jeopardy tournaments.
me: it's nearly impossible for a dog to play jeopardy, neil.
Neil: Not really.
me: how would he communicate the answers?
Neil: He'd bark...duh.