Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I hereby nominate this week Braindead-of-Winter week. February has succeeded in turning me into a total zombie who does nothing but stay home, eat cereal, and grade papers.
That's right. My brain's so dead that Braindead-of-Winter Week starts on a Wednesday. During this week, you don't have to write anything on our blog that has meaning or makes sense, you don't have to think about anything or have conversations or brush your teeth. You can just curl up in a ball in the corner of your bed, or the corner of your room, or the corner of your office, or the corner of yourself and exist as a shapeless, colorless, brainless blob.
If you read something, it should only be a blank stack of paper; if you watch anything, it should be a fuzzy non-channel on your tv that looks like a snowstorm; if you eat anything, it should be pureed flavorless in your blender and then microwaved for way too long until it achieves the consistency of overcooked oatmeal. If you exercise, do so only on an exercise bike with zero resistance--no hills, no increase in heart rate, no sense of satisfaction afterwards. Breathe only dead air that smells of nothing.