Newsflash: poets should all do something scandalous or they will become even more obscure. If you need any help, poets, I will sell you biographical information at the rate of $10 per anecdote. Most of them will be lies, such as the fact that I was partially eaten by wolves in 1988. It was entirely eaten, and by bears. Also, watch for the upcoming, competing made-for-tv movies starring Drew Barrymore and Alyssa Milano.