I would just like to deny rumours that Lindsay Lohan and I are getting married at Dollywood this summer. She is reportedly getting married to a different woman whose tooth gap is not nearly as cool as mine. I think Lohan's like 21 though, so she will be mine in time for her third marriage, and then I won't have to star on Dateline's To Catch a Predator. Are there any young ladies out there who want some Mike's Hard Lemonade? Ok, I'm going to go watch the director's commentary on Mean Girls for the 17th time.
6 comments:
I need to link to a picture of Lindsay's ladyfriend: http://www.flickr.com/photos/12582419@N02/2418365672/. And point out that your tendency not to wear silly hats will be refreshing when Lindsay is finally ready for you.
Does anyone have The Parent Trap? I need to see it immediately for my research.
I think it plays on a constant loop on ABC Family. Also, I just remembered that I could have given you the Jenny Boully crack pipe book on Friday. I am dumb.
Oops, I meant Herbie Fully Loaded. I forgot to bring you the other Jenny Boully book. Let's arrange a trade in a dark alley somewhere. Or at Potbelly's.
You don't want Lindsay. Haven't you seen her mom's reality show? LL's going to look busted and sun-damaged and booze-damaged just like Dina in like three years. Trust me, she will be broke-down.
mmmmmm busted and sun-damaged. slurp, slurp
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