Wednesday, November 14, 2007

when you are a mime pretending to be a tree you have to stay perfectly still or else people will not believe in jesus.


the sun starts to set at 4:30 now. that is terrible. i know what it makes you think of. it makes you think of how imminent your own death is. that your life is slipping away just like the clouds turning red and then fading into blackness at the premature hour of 5 o'clock.

i know what will cheer you up: gmail chats!

here is a gmail chat that i had today with vinnie lacey. backstory: vinnie is auditioning to be a second city host for a cruise ship.

me: will you have internet on the boat?
or will we just not hear from you at all for six months?
sad.

Vinnie: I think it's sporadic

me: i am going to write you a letter everyday. and then they're going to start piling up so that on the day that you get mail, you will have like 30 letters.

and you will be embarrassed in front of your friends. that's what my mom did to me when i went to africa. when i was in high school.

Vinnie: please sign them "venom literati"

me: nope, i'm signing them "mrs. vinnie lacey."

Vinnie: haha
you went to africa? to prosthletize?

me: yes, you know this.
i dressed up as a mime.
etc.

Vinnie: I forget
hahahahahaahha
mime?

me: yeah, i went to botswana for a month and we did a mime drama that was an allegory of the story of the gospel.

and remember that one time there was a horsefly biting me for a good 10 minutes but i didn't move at all b/c the leaders told us if we moved the audience would question our commitment to god and they wouldn't be saved.

so i just stood there, with a single tear running down my face.

and afterwards, all the other mimes on my team were very impressed.

Vinnie: yes
I just...
sorry, I can't stop laughing
I just forgot it was Africa
or didn't put them together

me: actually, you're right, that happened in hungary. it was the summer before. but it was the same thing the next summer, just in botswana.

but there were no horseflies in botswana. although someone did throw rocks at me, and i couldn't move, so they just hit me in the face.

they were small rocks though so it was no biggie.

Vinnie: hahaha
please stop
why is this not a blog, too
?

me: perhaps this will be the next g-chat installment on venom literati.

THE END

2 comments:

Sarah said...

I love that story. I told it to someone else as a funny story and they were horrified. I wish I could remember who I told it to who was horrified so I could decide if I want to actually be their friend or not.

Sarah said...

Oh, I remember now. I am dumb. It was that dude who worked for us for two days who was terible at tape ball, and it wasn't me who was telling the story, it was you. And I don't want to be his friend.