Friday, November 16, 2007

the winner of the lame poetry contest

apparently bruce springsteen can't be bothered to announce the results of the lame poetry contest, so i'm taking matters into my own hands. here is the winning poem:

Steve McQueen is Smokin' Hot

But not as hot as your mom
Because your mom is hot
Also, Steve McQueen is dead which
introduces other factors like

maggots and
exhumation

and deep sea diving. Also, nuclear power
is not to be trusted especially when
in the hands of children. Never ever
open packages wrapped in

swiss cheese and
barbed wire

and sealed with boogers. Steve McQueen
died of a heart attack following surgery.
I die of a heart attack when I look at him.
And then I drink tea through my nose.

Tea anybody?
Tea?

4 comments:

Sarah said...

That poem is so lame it's spry.

Meghan said...

The whole point of a lame poetry contest is that you have to wait 6-9 months to find out that some horse-faced blonde woman named Bunny Johanssen-Werdlemeyer has won, for a sonnet sequence about birds of New England, and even worse, she'd like to thank her husband, her spawn and her puggle, Jorgan. I'm going to have to cancel this contest if you guys don't stop trying to make it less lame!

Kathy said...

now i feel guilty. i just wanted everyone to know that i am the WINNER. I AM THE WINNER.

Sarah said...

Wait. I am THE WINNER, too!