Friday, January 4, 2008

Barack Obama is Totally Black Now


Did anyone catch the Iowa caucus results last night, or Barack's speech? Because now that he has won Iowa his newfound accent shows that he is now TOTALLY black, TOTALLY a minister, and also apparently PARTIALLY Southern.


Last night my boyfriend kept doing impressions of him as Martin Luther King, Jr. and quoting "I Have a Dream." I am wondering if Barack has hired the right speech coaches, and if he shouldn't just chuck em to the wayside and let us Literati coach him.


For example, if we were his speech coaches, last night he might have said (in a british/jamaican accent), something like: "Iowa is TO-tally effin awesome," (awesome in a high-pitched sarah voice), "unless you went to high school here, in which case it blows: for realzies. Bitches."


I love Barack Obama. Let's write a letter to him and ask that he read it publicly on CAN-TV. I can't get over the CAN-TV thing.

41 comments:

Sarah said...

Once I saw Barack Obama debate Alan Keyes on CAN-TV and decided he was kind of...cowardly. Because when you're running against Alan Keyes, clearly it's a joke race and you can say anything you want. But turns out he was just preparing to run for president. Now I understand.

The point of that story was to let you know that Barack is already familiar with the CAN-TV format and also is willing to do ridiculous things on television.

Em. said...

wow you guys are stupid. Obama is great!! You are a racist!

Ben said...

yall are just haters watch ur bf will dump ur white ass!

N@&@SH@ said...

wtf u guys are rlly racist freaks. u have no idea what its like to go thru racism towards urself, or a friend. its rlly bad that u guys think its funny. by the way u sound ugly, and what "ben" said is probably tru....
:)

TheNeez said...

To em., ben, and n@&@sh@,

Your eloquent insights into the lives and minds of Venom Literati have been extremely helpful in discerning a much finer line in evolution.

We cannot help but agree that your combined bastardization of the English language is a sign of times to come. Subscribing to the theory that you three represent the type of world in which one could expect to live, it only hurts the cause of Mr. Obama.

We here at Venom Literati would like to thank em. (whose name suggests she is the last of her kind), ben (whom I wish was paying homage to e.e.), and n@&@sh@ (whose name suggests there is nothing interesting about her, thusly she uses symbols instead of letters. Oh my god! You are so clever!) for their feedback.

Sarah said...

Aw, it's cool, TheNeez. But I do like that you stood up for us. It's chivalrous. And sweet.

I'm glad the (presumed) youth are taking a stand against racism. Too bad they're wasting their time aiming it at non-haters, to use ben's vocab.

Megan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Megan said...

dear youth, the literati are lovers, not haters. if we were truly racist, our blog would sound like the dude i heard on npr the other day who willingly admitted that he and his friends are not ready for a black president, then said, "i'm not the only one--there are a lot of us. there are TONS of us who feel this way. and we're not ready for a woman either"

i will agree with you that the picture i posted is tasteless. i cannot help the fact that i am very fond of tasteless things. therefore i will not remove it.

because we are sorry that you have misinterpreted us, we would like to invite you to our next meeting behind the red curtain at the zacopane, where we will be discussing lynne tillman's "american genius."

we will warn you, however, that the zacopane smells like pee, so beware. it will be worth it because barack and hillary will be there; they are fearless humans. and barack has this really cool crushed velvet smoking jacket that he likes to wear to the zacopane that matches the pee-curtain.

you are sort of right about my boyfriend. he will likely dump me because i always leave my purse in the middle of the living room floor.

a boogz said...

retarted ass bastardz barack obama is thge best

b1acklabsk813 said...

wow u guys are really effin stupid.
u have no idea wat u are talking about.
and all them people that commented were right.
and btw yall.
they aint girls. its a bunch of gay guys that are prolly white supremicist that need a life. and if u have a boifriend. u reallly need to stop taking it in the ass and watch the speeches instead of givin head the whole time and just thinking u know something

The Mayor said...

Save the drama for yo'bama

Aaron said...

You, ma'am, are a racist and you make me sick. You, and anyone who has ever been close enough to smell your breath, disguist me. I don't know what makes me disdain you more: The fact that you made fun of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., one of the greatest American heroes of all time, or the horrendously offensive and stupid picture you put up characaturing Senator Obama.
Just because you do not sound like a racist you heard on NPR, it does not mean you are not a racist. Your tasteless and horrendous slander (which attempts to push America back into the days when African Americans were the slaves of other men,) is racist in its OWN right. I hope you one day look back at yourself and feel guilty and stupid about the post you put on your blog. You give America a bad name.
I can not assume that you are altogether a horrible person, but I am having a difficult time imagining otherwise.

Get a Life said...

You are a rasist lowlife jackass that can only see the color of people's skin and needs to find somthing better to do with your time. Also listen to the speech of Obama, every word, try to understand and THINK.
READ A BOOK!!!!!!!! Loser

Mr. Clean said...

They said something bad about a black guy there racist oooo get a fucking life quit playin the fucking race card and get a fucking job

JelissaMone said...

lol @ simpleminded mr. clean and his "get a job" comment. just assuming that they have no job because they are black? oh you hilarious skin head whitey. you must take a deep pride in your ignorance. please dont have kids. thanks!

Kimberly said...

I'm white and Obama all the way!!! PROGRESS!!!!!

Guyminuslife said...

Apparently this image is on the first page when you use Google Image search for "obama." (Hey, I was looking for something to Photoshop, too.)

It really is pretty tasteless. Utterly juvenile. Offensive, and not in the fun kind of way. Not particularly funny. I understand you're trying to be playfully irreverent, but really, there's a line. (It's not even a particularly strict line. But it exists.)

The comments above may be less-than-polished, but they're a pretty fair depiction of how the picture comes off to anyone outside of whatever circle you're in of people who apparently must know you're not Klansmen. (Klanswomen? Klanspeople?) Hell, the KKK itself is more diplomatic.

Do whatever you want---I mean, hey, I'm a random person on the Internet, I can't tell you what to do---but please be aware that this really does make you look racist. If you're comfortable with that, then fine. If not, I'd suggest reconsidering hosting the image.

seraphic said...

If I may, I would like to inquire of the literati's collective educational backgrounds.

Walrus Eggman said...

As useless as a comment such as this may be, I agree with anyone who said that the image and the post aren't funny at all.

I'm all into comedy without any restrictions, but the disadvantage of "politically incorrect" humor is that it MUST be funny.

rat said...

You Fucking NAZI piece of shit
obama is the only hope you fuckin selfdestructicve Northamericans white
sister fucker have
You may know this,
the whole planet is against you because you stupid racist catholic kkk´rs dont notice this you keep saying shit about barack but he seems to be the Only person in that country who cares about something that has sense..
hopefully all the nazi shit in northamerica will be kicked and fucked and murdered as they deserve

who cares said...

people who depend on color of skin u r wasting time in ur life

Hoosiers09 said...

The picture is not only taste-less...but is only reinforcing stereotypes,which, is merely fuel to racism. Please educate yourself before you put things like this up on internet (whether you enjoy tasteless things or not). I don't expect you to understand, but try to understand. Obama is a great candidate, listen to the speeches, instead of the "blackness". By the way, I am a junior in college, pre-med student, with a 3.9 gpa, and I am Black, and I don't have gold teeth in my mouth and a bandanna on my head, your picture is pure ignorance.

Razia said...

people, look at yourselves! It makes me soooo sad to see this picture on first page of "Barack Obama" google images, for one thing. It makes me sad it exists at all. But what makes me even sadder is number of people supporting it and standing up for the stupid blind racism. I expected a lot more comments that would be upset with the picture and, to be fair, more structured and reasonable ones. I understand the anger it brings up, but just yelling at each other names that target huge groups of people is NOT going to do anything.
I don't know too much about Obama, but I feel like I know enough to say that he would make a great president, that he is sincere and concern for the destiny of the country, that he is honest and really wants the best for the people. And yes, it is great that America is having a legitimate and serious black candidate for presidency. I agree that skin color is not a reason to vote him, this would also be a kind of racism. But listen to him! Go to his website, look at his campaign and ideas for solving the issues! He is amazing, America is lucky to have a prospective president like that. Get over this racism against each other. There are increadibly rude comments towards both the white people and the blacks in here. Come on, it's 21st century, get over it already! There is so much to be done, we've gotta do it together.

onmai said...

Unfortunately, you're kind of an idiot.

devlingodscntry said...

Obama is the anti-christ, pure and simple. He's being welcomed with open arms by all, and christians are blind to this most of all!

Alibaba said...

I went on google to search for some good pictures of Barack, and that this one was the first on there made me sick. It's completely uncalled for and moronic. To make fun of two great black men who have taken amazing strides for equality in america is revolting. I'm all for freedom of speech and opinion, but why dont you keep your blatantly racist remarks to yourself? Just because he speaks proper english and doesnt run around like some hood means he isn't black?? Your ignorance just set America back another 50 years. I pray that you dont have little rascist children that continue to bastardize our country, because it is people like you who've kept the usa from progressing.

Laura said...

Ever noticed that Bush gets a more defined twang when he talks in the South(the man's from CT)? What smart candidate, what normal person doesn't adjust to their surroundings?

katie said...

ok so everyone take a breather....

We all have mixed feelings toward the candidates and I personally am ok with Barack. I know that he says some things but the truth is you can't please everybody.

Another thing is, you shouldn't bash barack for talking like he's from the south. I am from the south and i am very literate. Another thing we don't call people names down here. If we want to joke around with them we call them coonasses. Thank you and have a nice day

TAE TAE said...

Barack was once saying dat he wasn't black dat he was dis dis dis and dat. Now that he needs da black people to vote for him hes claming black. Not dat I'm racists cuz I'm black I just feel he could have supported his race more than he has been, instead of waiting til
he needed us to back us up.TRIFLIN!

Dave said...

All of you weak folks using the racism crutch might want to learn to spell.

characaturing???

prolly???

I've been overseas several times. I know racism. I have experienced racism and much more venomous acts against me because of the color of my skin, my nationality and my religion (buddhism).

Racism in America is mild by comparison. So you get pulled over more than white folks.

In the rest of the world, you get exterminated.

Some Black folks in America need to wake up. Get a job and stop whining like a spanked puppy. That goes for mayonnaise "sam'ich" eating trailer park white folks as well.

Welfare kills brain cells.

Webscript said...

Hey KKK MAN!

I think Black ass from Obama Is more clever Then White ass from Bush, or you fucking white ass ......

" F*Y*A*H*A*N*D* "

Greedy Sweet Tooth said...

Why must every one jump to the racist thing? I don't understand, why must everything be about race? Besides, are you guys (the ones calling the blog's writer a racist) being a bit racist yourselves? What you are doing is profiling. How can you know that the person writing was not merely joking? Can you tell sarcasm when reading a letter, book, or the such? No! You actually don't know what is going on here. I am not defending anyone or condemning either, I just think this person deserves the benefit of doubt!

P.S. I am sadden Mrs. Clinton lost! :( Such a fun race they had!

Faith said...

I wasn't going to justify this with a response. I mean this is clearly racist whether you are for Barack Obama or not. I'm Black. And there's nothing about guns, grills, Ebonics, droopy pants, or any other negative stereotype that is appealing to me or represents me or most Blacks. What you've depicted is a Nigger stereotype...whatever the race….and you have depicted it in true nigger (ignorant) form...so, congrats, you must be so proud. I won’t say that people who speak a certain jargon or dress a certain way are ignorant or any less significant than the rest of us...the large and small minded & hearted alike. I'd like to make it clear that I was not offended by this depiction. The reason is because ignorance doesn't get under my skin. But it's so sad that when there's nothing left to say or when people do not have the means to properly identify or articulate their frustrations, the choice is always to shoot for the curb rather than the stars... to STAY ignorant, rather than use the opportunity to enhance him/herself. And I DO have quite the sense of humor. But racism by any other name is still racism. You can tell a great deal about a person’s character by what s/he finds humorous…so, again, congrats. But, what’s most disturbing & telling is that when I did a Google search for pictures of Barack Obama, this was the FIRST in the list…Welcome to America.

gigglestheclown said...

okay so um why if this is so offensive to everyone and you people are mad why are you crediting the author with comments? for that matter why the hell are you reading it? and some of you with your offensive comments talking about the author's boyfriend dumping her white ass. noooooo! thats not racist. and white people can't be the target of racism because we oppressed your people okay so your saying im 145 years old or older? what about the africans over in africa enslaving their own people? and im sorry martin luther king jr was a great man and i have nothing but respect for him but what about abraham lincoln who freed the slaves? franklin d. roosevelt who helped america through the great depression and wwII? okay their white but they where great american heroes. i admire the author for voicing her opnion which is her right as an american citizen. bravo amreican citizen!!! just like its everyones right to voice their dislike of her opnion but i am for the author. and people might say its because im white maybe cause im southern, maybe cause im republican. who knows but i have looked at all of obama's issues and some scare me cause they are rather ignorant and he seems to be making a point of playing the race card.

MUsicstAnd-y said...

Well lets see if I can put some "real nigga" insight into this.

I for one find this funny. Albeit its absurd and distasteful, its funny(kinda messed up on the pants tho, they need to sag more) Venom is probably a mid 20's at most, white, liberal Repub. so of course its granted she'd do this. Racist? Naw. She wanted a reaction and received it. Her picture is the NUMBER 1 pic of Barack on google 5 months later in June. As for all the racist comments, chill that shit out. If you're not from Bama, Miss, LA or any other state below the Mason-Dixon line then you truly don't know(imagine being called a nigger in 9th grade english class by ya teacher and students for no reason, and then no action is taken against the offenders and come see me about racism)
I fortunately still am not prejudice(which is the proper term for the majority) against whites, I just can't stand the fact that some of them don't think before they speak and act! I've had to my whole life why can't you?(Nervous white people are funny too by the way)
Sterotype breaker:
Name: Andrew Mark
Age: 20(never been in trouble with the law, or had kids)
University: Grambling State

That says it all there....let that racism shit go please. Barack is gone get it for us. All he needs is our Hope and babies(which he harvests for stem cells to feed his superhuman powers)

Life Coach said...

please take this obama photo down. it's not even photoshopped well.

Life Coach said...

please take this obama photo down.

Bari said...

Wow, this is funny! Not the incredibly offensive picture and the subsequent corny ass tongue-in-cheek post, but the fact that enough people care to tell you how racist and unfunny it is! God bless the internet, oh, and MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK, MY LAMBO'S BLUE, I'LL BE GOTDAMNED IF MY RIMS AIN'T TOO!

illuminati10 said...

21st century folks lets catch up to present. ppl want to say it was fate certain ppl werent inside the building in 9/11 when in fact everyday ppl were in and out of the building constantly. now that barack is president everyone has different expectation for him because of his skin color. he will turn out to be like any other president all the same. im mixed btw black and white and all i no is that ive recieved rasism before from both sides. so no1 is better than the other in my viewpoint. all i no is that im going on with my life and surrounding it with things i enjoy. if some1 hates me for who i am or what i do i move on to the ppl do take me for what i am. i have friends from all races and i have no trouble in finding them. we need to get rid of this mental block we call ignorance and stupidity. honestly for all sides ignorance is an excuse for drama and an excuse for ppl to do whatever they want. 2009- 2013 barack obama...live with it. comment me if u have something to say

claire@q said...

you are damn, Obama!!!! Where is your heart and your brain??!! Can you saw it? Many Palestine peoples are dead. Women, children, babies to be victim too. But, you still rescue Israel, who have killed them all. Think in your brain, if they are as your children, your wife, and your family dead, what will you do? My question is why you still rescue and help Israel? Israel don't have a country. I don't want you will to be like A DAMN GEORGE W BUSH. I just want open your heart for Palestine peoples there. Please give your support for them. Before you can to be a president like now, you said you will change American Country. Where is your swear and your prmise? Please support them, although many American peoples angry and hate you. Cause, you are the USA president, now. Not GEORGE W BUSH again. I wish you read my comment. And your heart can open up and you want support Palestine peoples and help them, barack HUSSEIN obama.

claire@q said...
This comment has been removed by the author.