Thursday, January 3, 2008
I am so glad to be back from Iowa I could pee on the floor!
(Sorry, that was inspired by Prathna Lor, and also by Kathy's excitement about pee in literature.)
I just spent way too many days in Iowa, and discovered that it wasn't ME all those years--Iowa makes me suck. My symptoms include: short temperedness, dark circles, feelings of aortal explosion, intense awareness of arm flab, saying "that's GREAT!" in a high-pitched voice about everything that is really not great, the desire to flee any and all things remotely related to marriage, and general self-hatred alternating with extreme narcissism. While there, I also experienced NPR withdrawal and overblown cravings for Jolly Ranchers--a lethal combination. Now that I am home, I feel smarter, but all my symptoms still linger, making my usual existence impossible, and especially difficult for my boyfriend, who has offered to murder Iowa for me. Our meeting on Friday will restore me to normal. I am praying for it, just as the Iowans do.
See that picture? My home town under weird, looming clouds? That is how I feel in Iowa.