Here's what I sent to McSweeney's:
Please forward the following letter to Lydia Davis.
Thanks and smooches!
Dear Lydia Davis,
Venom Literati would like to invite you to our meeting tonight at Ginger's Ale House where we will be discussing Samuel Johnson is Indignant, as well as the hotly-debated theme of pee in literature. Have you written any pee stories lately? If not, could you please write one that we can post on our blog?
Actually, we might not get around to discussing SJII because we're all pretty much helpless in the face of the smoking ban. In other words, we will be turning to alcohol. Know this, Lydia: We will share with you our Skinny Bitches. When you share a Skinny Bitch, you are bonded for life.
Also, if we were the girl that turned into a tree that then turned into a stone, we would totally be the girl that turned into a gimlet that then turned into a cigarette butt.
Venom Literati loves you.