Thursday, January 31, 2008

Boring Professor-People

Shit. Shit. I am becoming one of those boring professor people. I'm teaching American Lit and Culture this semester. I know NOTHING about American Lit and Culture. The wrestling coach was my US History teacher in high school and all I remember from that class is listening to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire," which comprises all of my knowledge about American History.

I've been scurrying to find every site on the internet that deals with contemporary lit and politics. I spent 6 hours last night making an entire PowerPoint presentation about the Black Arts Movement and Amiri Baraka. (I did not know how to use PowerPoint prior to this. It is friggin' amazing.) And today I'm researching literature of the Women's Movement instead of working at work. I'm reading scholarly articles so I can be smarter than my students. The last two books I ordered from Amazon were "The Columbia Companion to the Twentieth-Century American Short Story" and "The Compendium of Post-War American Culture and Literature."

I have become SOOOOOOO boring in the last 24 hours. I think Power Point is fun. I think the Black Arts Movement and Amiri Baraka are awesome. It is all I can think about. I am totally proud of how boring my class is going to be for my students.

Oh, oh, this is awful. See the guy in the pic? Phil Round? He was one of my English professors in college. He was so smart that even though he was not at all hot, he became hot because of his smartness. He taught the most boring classes like Lit Before 1800 and a whole class on Emerson. These classes were awesome. But the teaching of those classes totally comprised his whole life. He loves Chicago because they have the largest archive of Native American literature in the country, and he comes to Chicago specifically to go to whatever library it's housed in. He was so hot and smart, but all I could think about was that despite this, if I were married to him, I would be SOOOOOOO effin' bored that I would kill him in his sleep.

I am becoming Phil Round. Glub Glub. Please save me, Literati. Make me cool again.


Kathy said...

i am so jealous of you right now.

Anonymous said...

Me too.

You can be Phil and still be you. I want to be both of you.

Kathy just said, "Damn they don't have any muffin tops!"

Meghan said...

Can I take your class? I can take a class free every semester.

Meghan said...

If you run out of things to do, take that weird little stuffed cat from my office and make your students write about it for like an hour. My speech students wrote speeches about the cat today. I think the cat is made out of real cat. Every time I picked it up out of it's little basket, fur flew off. I'm going to post a picture of it. Hold on.