i took the Mensa practice test online
and got a perfect score.
now someone from Mensa calls me every day.
yesterday i changed my answering machine message to say:
which of these things is least like the others:
squirrel vagina urine
squirrel penis urine
owl vagina urine
elephant penis urine
when the Mensa representative gave his answer,
i picked up the phone.
wait a moment, please, i said.
i came back to the phone and played him a tape recording.
in his voice it said,
i like to eat congealed squirrel vagina urine.
sir, that is disgusting, he said, and childish. this is not the kind of behavior we expect from fellow Mensans.
i said, what? don't Mensans pee too?