Tuesday, January 8, 2008

"Mensans Pee Too" by Matthew Savoca

i took the Mensa practice test online
and got a perfect score.
now someone from Mensa calls me every day.
yesterday i changed my answering machine message to say:

which of these things is least like the others:
squirrel vagina urine
squirrel penis urine
owl vagina urine
elephant penis urine

when the Mensa representative gave his answer,
i picked up the phone.
wait a moment, please, i said.
i came back to the phone and played him a tape recording.
in his voice it said,
i like to eat congealed squirrel vagina urine.
sir, that is disgusting, he said, and childish. this is not the kind of behavior we expect from fellow Mensans.
i said, what? don't Mensans pee too?


Anonymous said...

This is funny. Thank you, Matthew Savoca.

Megan said...

that is totally the most disgusting poem i've ever read, about urine or otherwise. there will never ever be another poem written about mensa and pee again. groundbreaking!

Megan said...

pee week is effin' awesome!

flabby-abby1973 said...

I like it but I still like my BUTT poems better! Why are'nt you guysmore excited about my butt poems!?

Anonymous said...

All right, all right. We'll have a butt week soon. Sheesh.

Kathy said...

jesus christ, abby. i love your butt poems. why don't you believe me when i say i love your butt poems?