Friday, August 24, 2007

How to predict the future (or at least one small part of it)

I'm ghost-writing a business book right now, and one idea that plays an important role in it is that what people read indicates what they will purchase in the future.

There are not enough words in the world.

I am not reading anything right now because I keep going in to places to find Hotel Theory and it's not there. Partially, I think this is due to fiction/non-fiction/theory/travel shelving problems. I wander from section to section accompanied by employees who tell me the computer says there's one in the store, and we can never, ever find it.

In my future, I will purchase Hotel Theory.

I will read it in Maine. I will pay close attention and report back if it foreshadows any other purchases, so you'll know what you're going to need to buy while reading it.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

It just occurred to me that I may have failed to read something in the past that would indicate that I would purchase Hotel Theory and that is why I cannot find it.

I wish Dr. Manhattan were here to help me out.

flabby-abby1973 said...

Can we buy a hotel? It would be handy around Christmastime! It could have a pool and an exercise room...or an exorcise room if it is like the shining. You can all write your novels while I cook with my buck-teeth and turtlenecks. It would be fun as long as that annoying kid wasn't there. We could give that freaky room to people we didn't like. I bet Jack Morgan would volunteer to stay there because he's an adventure seeker!

flabby-abby1973 said...

You know, I just thought, if this "business book" is right then I should be buying a wand and a cauldron and possibly an owl or a cat or a toad. OHHHHH and a FLYING BROOM!!!!! Can I get one? Huh? Huh? PLEEEEEEEEZZZZ!?

Anonymous said...

You betcha. One toad comin' up!

Megan said...

that you cannot find hotel theory in any one section means it's brilliant, probably, and also that it won't sell.

i ordered mine a week and a half ago and haven't gotten it yet...i am itching to read it, though.

potato said...

They have Hotel Theory at Unabridged Books! Or they had it at Unabridged Books. Yesterday, I went there to get a book but had to run out of the store and protect my car from a falling tree before I could see what books they have or had. They carry my book though, which means they will carry anything.

Anonymous said...

That is, like, the hardest bookstore in the city for me to get to, and it's the only one that automatically has everything I need.

This makes me think about crying.

potato said...

Yes, they should really just move Unabridged Books into the pee room of the Zacopane. You know how the Polish love literature!

Missy said...

my mailman is an asshole and refuses to leave amazon packages, even when i fill out that stupid post office form.

then he redelivers on different days than the days i request and calls my phone number and leaves me voicemails laced with attitude and disappointment. i don't like this. he's my mailman, not my mother.

i don't order from amazon anymore because my mailman is a bastard.

i may never find hotel theory. i looked and looked before my vacation and found it nowhere. or like others, had stupid salespeople who couldn't find it even though their store computer database thing said they had it.

borders stupid computer database thing categorizes it as "literary criticism". but then they do not put it in that secion.

or in fiction, or nonfiction.

it is the same at other places i've tried.

this is causing angry feelings inside of me towards hotel theory, simply because i cannot find it.

i don't want to have angry feelings towards hotel theory before i read it. it is not the books fault that stupid bookstores don't know where to put it.

i will go to unabridged books. if they don't have it, i may cause a scene in the store. i may cry and pound my fists on the counter top and tell them to stop being so stupid and get hotel theory in their store.

i hope i don't have to do that.

Missy said...

i said the word "stupid" five times in my previous comment. i'm sorry for my outburst.

i came back from idaho yesterday and the city immediately made me angry and bitter.

i like lakes and mountains now.