Thursday, September 6, 2007

The Hotel Women Gently Stalk Wayne Koestenbaum

Dear Wayne Koestenbaum,

Whoa--Hotel Theory--whoa--we are waaaay smarter now, Wayne. We have also all devolved into Hotel Women.

You're invited to come to our meeting at which we will discuss it. We will ask you questions, like: Which column did you write first? Or was it all higgledy-piggledy?

Liberace will be at meeting, too. Or if he is not, there will be blowup doll in his likeness. Also, there will be vats of suntan oil we can rub on his ass in unison.

Missy was disappointed that Cheryl was lame in book. In real life Cheryl stabbed that guy named Johnny Stompanato with kitchen knife, which actually makes her awesome.

Megan is certain that you were her agent at Apartment People in Chicago when she first moved here. You tried to rip her off with studio by lake for like 900 bucks per month. You were wearing that same pinstriped suit and smartypants glasses you're wearing in your Hotel Theory photo. She thought you were lying about your name being Wayne. We still believe you may be lying about it.

Come to our meeting to prove you're not.

Your friends,

Venom Literati


Anonymous said...

This has been sent.

Megan said...

very well then my dear. can we all dress up like hotel women at the meeting?

Missy said...

oops...i just realized that i copied and pasted the wrong comment for the letter. i had (because i'm a dork) typed out some possible comments and intended to use a different one than the one i posted.

this is what i get for trying to do this while I'm busy with other things at work.

i'm a bad blogger...or maybe just a bad multi-tasker...

Anonymous said...

Oh no! You should post your alternate comment here, just in case Wayne comes to visit. I sent him the link to our blog, too.

And yes! Dressup! I don't know if I have appropriate attire, though.

Missy said...

oh well, he's already responded now.

it was essentially the same thing anyway, just worded as a question instead:

Why was Cheryl lame in book? In real life she stabbed that guy named Johnny Stompanato with kitchen knife, which actually makes her awesome.

Richard Nash said...

I think this stuff is kinda hot, I like it...